A friend asked this question on Facebook.
"At the risk of starting a debate - let me ask a question: Why does it stress people out when people have big families or want to have more than the average amount of kids?"
I answered her:
"Good question. I agree with most of the comments on here. In our case, once we reached 6 kids people just stopped asking if we were done and knew we were nutso. lol Our family knows we don't use birth control and so they are not surprised when we have another one. They are just like "are you pregnant yet?" I'm sure they would be happy if we stopped, but 11 is such an awkward number to stop at, ya know? My mom doesn't want me to have anymore, but when she said that I just jokingly said "we have to have at least one more girl to even things out". We don't ask anyone to babysit because our oldest is old enough to babysit for a couple of hours while we go out on a date. If we needed help for more than that we have some wonderful friends who have 7 children with the two oldest out of the house and they love to watch the kids. They are patient and great with kids. We are thankful we have such great friends.
As for other people getting stressed out, I think they for some reason think that all the kids came at once and so yeah, that would stress anyone out. But we got ours one at a time and it's not that bad. Plus it's not like we have 11 6 year olds, or 11 2 year olds. They are all different ages and so are at different stages in life. They all have different personalities and temperaments. I heard someone say who has 14 children: "It's not like one big bunch, it's like having 14 only children". They are all individuals and we look at them that way".
Now it's your turn: what would have answered my friend?
Until next time...
JenT
Showing posts with label answers. Show all posts
Showing posts with label answers. Show all posts
Friday, June 15, 2012
Saturday, June 2, 2012
answer to reader question/short birth stories
A reader asked me if my smallest baby was the easiest delivery. Actually...no. :) Here's a brief history of my births. I've had 11 children and two miscarriages in the last 14 years. Most of them have, on average, 15 months between them.
#1 was in the hospital (an overseas military hospital at that), labor started one day after her due date. She was 8 lbs 6 oz. There was meconium in the water and they gave her oxygen as a precaution. Other than that she was healthy. I nursed her for about 3 months before I put her on the bottle. I was inexperienced, shy, and felt like I was always in the bedroom feeding her. Plus we were getting out of the military and traveling around the country visiting family we hadn't seen for 2 or more years. (We met and married in Japan and had her there, so we had not met each others family except he met my mom and brother when they went to Japan to visit). I had a miscarriage when she was 11 months old so there are 22 months between her and the next baby.
#2 was induced 11 days after her due date. I had not had any false labor at all. She was 8 lbs 11 oz. She was in the NICU for 5 days under an oxygen tent. I never did really know why they wanted to keep her so long. Because of that I struggled with nursing her and eventually did go to the bottle.
#3 was induced a week early because of the problems with the first two. He was 7 lbs 14 oz. He was perfectly healthy and I was able to nurse him for 11 months.
#4 was induced because I went to a birthing center first and they said I had gestational diabetes so they sent me to their back-up hospital. He was 7 lbs 8 oz and was perfectly healthy. I nursed him for 6 months; I only stopped because I was expecting the next baby. Because of the way they treated me in the hospital (which was a different one than the 2nd and 3rd babies were born at) I decided to try a home birth. We found a wonderful midwife with our 5th baby and we've used her ever since.
#5 was born at home unassisted, drug-free. Unassisted only because the labor went much quicker than either the midwife or I expected. She was only about 10 minutes late. :) He was 9 lbs 2 oz and was the easiest birth so far. I nursed him for about 6 months also for the same reason: number 6 was on the way.
#6 was born at home; the midwife made it this time. :) She was perfectly healthy, 7 lbs 6 oz, and I was able to nurse her for about 6 months too. She was my smallest baby and the birth was fairly easy, but I still say my easiest was #5. :)
#7 was born at home, 10 lbs 1 oz and healthy. He nursed for about 6 months.
#8 was born at home, 8 lbs 14 oz and healthy. She did require a little oxygen for a few minutes but that was all. I nursed her for 8 months even though I was expecting my next one very shortly (there are only 13 months between them).
#9 was an emergency c-section. He absolutely refused to turn when our midwife tried to turn him. He had a foot presenting (wanted to come out running that one did) and she said there was the possibility that if my water broke (and it was wanting to) the cord would come out and there would be major problems. So we decided to go to the hospital (the one my 2nd and 3rd babies were born at and we prefer around here). He was 10 lbs 4 oz and was pretty healthy. He did have jaundice and they kept him under the lights for a couple of days. I was still able to nurse him for the longest so far; 13 months. I had a miscarriage right after I stopped nursing him and there is the biggest gap between him and the next one; 27 months.
#10 was born at home, VBAC, at a whopping 11 lbs 8 oz!! His birth was by far the hardest. I think I was mentally unsure since it was a vbac and it took the longest pushing of any of my babies. Plus his head was stuck on my pelvic bone and my midwife had to push his rump from the outside to get him past that point. After that is wasn't quite so bad.
#11 was my second vbac, born at home and was pretty quick and easy after that 11 lber. :) She was 9 lbs 9 oz, my biggest girl so far.
If we have any more I don't see them getting bigger than the 11 lber. My diet had a lot to do with my last one being 2 lbs lighter than the biggest one. I cut out white carbs and sugar and was able to lose weight because of it. And that meant that she didn't get a lot of unnecessary sugar.
So there you have it. My babies weights didn't go up each time, they kind of bounced around. But I did have my heavier babies later.
If any of you have any questions feel free to ask and I will try to answer them in a timely fashion.
Here's a recent picture taken with my cell phone.
Until next time... JenT
#1 was in the hospital (an overseas military hospital at that), labor started one day after her due date. She was 8 lbs 6 oz. There was meconium in the water and they gave her oxygen as a precaution. Other than that she was healthy. I nursed her for about 3 months before I put her on the bottle. I was inexperienced, shy, and felt like I was always in the bedroom feeding her. Plus we were getting out of the military and traveling around the country visiting family we hadn't seen for 2 or more years. (We met and married in Japan and had her there, so we had not met each others family except he met my mom and brother when they went to Japan to visit). I had a miscarriage when she was 11 months old so there are 22 months between her and the next baby.
#2 was induced 11 days after her due date. I had not had any false labor at all. She was 8 lbs 11 oz. She was in the NICU for 5 days under an oxygen tent. I never did really know why they wanted to keep her so long. Because of that I struggled with nursing her and eventually did go to the bottle.
#3 was induced a week early because of the problems with the first two. He was 7 lbs 14 oz. He was perfectly healthy and I was able to nurse him for 11 months.
#4 was induced because I went to a birthing center first and they said I had gestational diabetes so they sent me to their back-up hospital. He was 7 lbs 8 oz and was perfectly healthy. I nursed him for 6 months; I only stopped because I was expecting the next baby. Because of the way they treated me in the hospital (which was a different one than the 2nd and 3rd babies were born at) I decided to try a home birth. We found a wonderful midwife with our 5th baby and we've used her ever since.
#5 was born at home unassisted, drug-free. Unassisted only because the labor went much quicker than either the midwife or I expected. She was only about 10 minutes late. :) He was 9 lbs 2 oz and was the easiest birth so far. I nursed him for about 6 months also for the same reason: number 6 was on the way.
#6 was born at home; the midwife made it this time. :) She was perfectly healthy, 7 lbs 6 oz, and I was able to nurse her for about 6 months too. She was my smallest baby and the birth was fairly easy, but I still say my easiest was #5. :)
#7 was born at home, 10 lbs 1 oz and healthy. He nursed for about 6 months.
#8 was born at home, 8 lbs 14 oz and healthy. She did require a little oxygen for a few minutes but that was all. I nursed her for 8 months even though I was expecting my next one very shortly (there are only 13 months between them).
#9 was an emergency c-section. He absolutely refused to turn when our midwife tried to turn him. He had a foot presenting (wanted to come out running that one did) and she said there was the possibility that if my water broke (and it was wanting to) the cord would come out and there would be major problems. So we decided to go to the hospital (the one my 2nd and 3rd babies were born at and we prefer around here). He was 10 lbs 4 oz and was pretty healthy. He did have jaundice and they kept him under the lights for a couple of days. I was still able to nurse him for the longest so far; 13 months. I had a miscarriage right after I stopped nursing him and there is the biggest gap between him and the next one; 27 months.
#10 was born at home, VBAC, at a whopping 11 lbs 8 oz!! His birth was by far the hardest. I think I was mentally unsure since it was a vbac and it took the longest pushing of any of my babies. Plus his head was stuck on my pelvic bone and my midwife had to push his rump from the outside to get him past that point. After that is wasn't quite so bad.
#11 was my second vbac, born at home and was pretty quick and easy after that 11 lber. :) She was 9 lbs 9 oz, my biggest girl so far.
If we have any more I don't see them getting bigger than the 11 lber. My diet had a lot to do with my last one being 2 lbs lighter than the biggest one. I cut out white carbs and sugar and was able to lose weight because of it. And that meant that she didn't get a lot of unnecessary sugar.
So there you have it. My babies weights didn't go up each time, they kind of bounced around. But I did have my heavier babies later.
If any of you have any questions feel free to ask and I will try to answer them in a timely fashion.
Here's a recent picture taken with my cell phone.
B.V. (#10) giving C.D. (#11) a kiss while she is nursing.
He loves his little sister and is always coming over to give her a kiss or hug. So sweet!
Until next time... JenT
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