Wednesday, June 5, 2013

Don't Blame the Kids!!!

"Hey Mama, just stopping in to encourage you to rest today in the Lord. Your house is not going to be perfectly clean; embrace it. Your dinner might not be ready on time; embrace it. Your shoes don't match your shirt; embrace that, too. You forgot to brush your teeth and you look a bit like Sweetums from the Muppets; embrace the madness.

But you are with your children and you put them first, day after day. You keep them fed and loved on. They're dressed and they're happy (even if they're in jammies). Their hair's not brushed, and the 2 year old is wearing unmatched socks, but who cares?? Look at their faces.
That should say it all. Their faces don't lie.

YOU ARE A GOOD MOTHER. Your kids are loved and YOU are a big reason for their health and happiness. Embrace the day.

Embrace those Sweetum babies, too. Walk, Mama. You done good."

Now my view:

Don't get me wrong, I understand the sentiment behind these words.  I see these posts a lot; on Facebook, on blogs, in articles online and in magazines.  And I understand the message that they are trying to send; don't spend your days missing out on your children's lives.  Enjoy them while they are young and don't sweat the small stuff.
But...BUT...I get a little irritated at how they are presented.  Don't use your children as an excuse to have a messy house.  Don't use having more than "normal" children as an excuse to not fix your little girl's hair.  Don't use those little blessings as an excuse to let yourself go.  Please, please, moms, don't use them as an excuse to be lazy, to have a dirty house, to not teach them valuable lessons such as neatness and good hygiene. 
Now, granted, I'm sure most people understand that the message behind the above words isn't saying that.  But I've seen and heard too many people over the years doing that very thing.  I've seen little ones in large families with their hair not brushed, I've seen parents being too relaxed in teaching their children basic things like picking up after themselves, I've heard and read the excuses of having a messy house because of all the children.
Don't get me wrong - I'm NOT perfect.  I am still working on teaching my own children to clean up after themself, to brush their teeth.  I make myself take the time in the morning to make sure my little girls' hair is brushed and fixed.  I try very hard to keep them in well maintained clothing (hard with 6 boys :) ).  I try to teach them basic manners of life.  BUT at the same time we are picking flowers, reading books, watching movies, making cookies.  We are enjoying life and we are learning too.
I understand that we don't all have older ones that help.  I remember what it was like with 5 little children and no big helpers day after day.  But when you teach those little lessons while they are young, the later years are easier. 
I guess what I'm trying to say is to make teaching just as fun as playing.  Taking the time to keep yourself neat in appearance and attitude, keeping your house clean while teaching your children how to do that, and using those teachable moments is what it's all about.

Until next time...


1 comment:

Janet said...

You're right! Funny--my "bug man" says he chuckles inside when he goes to spray someone's messy house, who blames their kids. He says he always thinks of us, and how their kids are not the reason for their messes.