Monday, February 28, 2011

practicing divorce

Is dating practicing for divorce? I think it is. How is it not?

How can you give pieces of your heart away to many of the opposite gender and expect to come to a marriage whole-hearted?

I read a story of a girl that had a dream right before she got married. She was standing at the front of the church with her groom. They were waiting to take their vows when from the audience another woman stood up and walked down the aisle to stand next to the groom on the other side. Suddenly another woman stood up, then another, and another. The filed up the aisle until 10 girls were standing with her groom. He turned to her apologetically and said, "I know I promised you my whole-heart, but I had to give these girls a piece of my heart, too. They each have a little. But you can have all the rest." Boy, did she feel cheated.

You may think that sounds silly, but in essence that's what happens. A person gives each boyfriend/girlfriend a little piece of their heart until the one they fall in love with, the one who is expected to share the rest of their life, is left with the scraps.

What message does that send our young people? That's it's ok to break up with someone when "things just aren't working out". The practice carries over into marriage. It seems that everything is disposable these days. Even relationships. Divorce is just as common in the Christian circles as it is in the non-Christian crowd. How is dating any different? They are "trying out" different people. Trying to "find" the one they are meant to marry.

I believe that if the Lord wants you married, He will send you the mate He wants for you. Instead of wasting your time trying to find him/her, spend those years in service for God.

Now that doesn't mean that you isolate yourself or your children from everyone. Meet new people and develop friendships with other families who are like-minded. Give your children the opportunity to meet plenty of people. You don't know how the Lord will bring a spouse to your child. They need lots of friends; a potential spouse may be among them. Then, let God guide them to "the one". But caution them to not play the dating game. And who knows, maybe they aren't even meant to be married. The apostle Paul wasn't married and look what he did for God. He even recommends that a person stay single so that he/she may concentrate solely on the things of God.

Dating is very harmful to the marital relationship. So many people carry baggage into their marriage from earlier relationships. Sometimes, they may not even realize it. It can cause hurt feelings and misunderstandings. It can stir up feelings of jealousy. It can bring divorce.

Yes, I believe dating is practicing divorce.

And people wonder why we don't want our children to date.



Until next time...

JenT

2 comments:

tamela said...

Oh how I would of loved knowing this when I was growing up~

chili pepper said...

Not only is it harmful to the future marriage but how many young people destroy their current lives and family relationships because of dating??? Definitely a lie straight from the pits of hell if you ask me. And just so we are clear... so called Christian dating is no better, in my opinion.

Hugs,

Kat