Tuesday, October 6, 2009

"...blessed be the name of the Lord."

"Then Job arose, and rent his mantle, and shaved his head, and fell down upon the ground, and worshipped, And said, Naked came I out of my mother's womb, and naked shall I return thither: the LORD gave, and the LORD hath taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD."
~ Job 1: 20-21

"In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you."
~ 1 Thessalonians 5:18

I wrote about my miscarriage in a previous post. Well, it wasn't over. The hospital told me to come back if I had more problems like I had that brought me in. I did. Sunday afternoon we went again; this time by van because I knew as soon as it started what I needed to do. We got there around 4:30 or so. Later that night they decided I needed a D&C. Thankfully, the OB doc that was on call was one I would have picked if given the choice. (The same one was the one on call Thursday night and I already had a follow-up appointment scheduled with him). The D&C took place around 1 a.m. Monday morning (long night) and I was discharged by 3 a.m. A first for me; I've never had a surgery where I had to be put to sleep before. It was definitely a different experience. But all went well and I have a different follow-up appointment in two weeks.

So, why the verses, you ask? Some people may find it odd that I'm not totally tore up about this loss. Yes, we wanted this baby. But God gives peace in the midst of pain. I know where this child is. At least I'm pretty sure. Remember David? If you're not familiar with the story I'm referring to, read 2 Samuel 12, especially verses 15-23.

I'm to give thanks in everything. It is the will of God.

Yes, it may be hard at first. I felt guilty thinking if I had done this or this, nothing would have happened. But you see, I'm not the one in control. God is.

I cried. I mourned. But I didn't fall apart. Because God is in control and I'm to give thanks.

I'm thankful for the short amount of time the Lord loaned this baby to us. I'm thankful for the EMT guys that came. I'm thankful for the ER docs and nurses. I'm thankful for a Christian OB that is not afraid to ask if he can pray over me before surgery. That was such a blessing.

I'm thankful for everything that happened, because that was the will of God.

Thank you all for praying for me and for your comments. I do appreciate them.

And I promise, the next post will be a bit more lighthearted. :)

Until next time...

7 comments:

Jenny B said...

Hey Jen, You are a great testimony! Were you in Knoxville for the surgery? I loved having a Christian OB when I was living down there. He was a huge blessing in all the turmoil of my difficult pregnancies...just wondering if was the same OB...

Hope said...

Dear Jen,

God is good to give such peace!
My sister Melody also had a miscarriage with her 10th child the day after you. It has been a very heartbreaking time, but we all know that God is in control. And we can rejoice for the souls of these babies in heaven.

♥Hope

I am blessed! said...

I'm so sorry again about your losing the baby! I became pregnant shortly after becoming qf then miscarried at 10 weeks. I was so sad. I also had to have a D&C- first time being put to sleep for me, too. We actually got to take a family ski trip the next month and had a wonderful time. Then the next month by God's grace I became pregnant again and our little Lucie is turning 1 today. I pray you will hold a newborn in your arms again!

Amy said...

So glad you are feeling God in the midst of your sorrow. He is good. Continued prayers for you!

Arlene said...

I'm so sorry you've had a rough time with this pregnancy and miscarriage, Jen. What a wonderful testimony you are showing, though, that by God's grace, you are not falling apart, and are still able to have such peace and a wonderful attitude. *hugs*

chili pepper said...

What a wonderful way to say it... you can mourn because it is sad and you suffered a loss but you don't need to fall apart because God is holding you together. Beautifully put my friend. I do regret that I was unable to be here for you during your time of trial. I am blessed to know that you are on the physical path to healing.

Love,

Kat

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